Memories and Masoor Dal

At the beginning of the pandemic, we lost someone very close to us. She was a parent, a close friend, and someone who taught me so much about life. She moved here from India in the seventies to marry her husband, who was studying engineering alongside my father-in-law, Paddy. She was beautiful, smart, independent and overflowed with personality. Her life was cut short by COVID-19 - there was so much she still wanted to do and see. Despite this, her impact on the lives of everyone she knew was immeasurable. There is not a single memory I have of her that doesn’t make me smile. 

I loved her stories about when she first moved to America, how she didn’t know anyone and found herself bored. One day she went out for a walk and came home with a job.  She taught herself to cook because she missed foods from home and because, before they got married, her husband used to eat a pint of ice cream from Walgreens for breakfast each morning!

I love her stories about when her children were born, and when they were small and what her life was like at the same stage as mine is now. She had a way of reminding me to let go of all of the small worries that come with motherhood and see the big picture - without ever trivializing any of those small worries. 

I love how every single time she crossed the threshold of our home she brought something for me. Oftentimes it was my favorite lentil dish. If we were having dinner as a group, she would squirrel it away in the depths of the fridge before anyone could see, because she knew I wanted it to keep it all to myself. Other times, it would be a piece of jewelry for me or clothes or toys for the kids. Usually it was several of these things. But what I always looked forward to was just her.  Her presence. Her effervescence.  Her  effusive nature, her expansive hugs, the joy she flooded the room with, the way she made you feel significant, like she was so excited to see you, and also like she really saw you. She did. 

I love that invariably, just as everyone would start assembling on Thanksgiving, Christmas, or Easter while everyone was in the kitchen finishing and warming up dishes and the atmosphere was generally sort of chaotic, she would say “I need a cup of tea! Do you have anything sweet? It’s teatime for me!” If it were anyone else, I would tell them to get out of the kitchen and wait for dinner to be served. But not her, she charmed me so thoroughly and so constantly, I could never refuse her, nor did I ever have the desire. So cookies and tea it would be, one year she fell in love with the brittle that would later top our pumpkin pie, “What is this?” she said, “It’s perfect with my tea!”. And I haven’t forgotten, so the pumpkin seed brittle will be on the menu this year along with so many fond memories of her. 

She would love to see these smiling faces, eating her food.

She lived across the earth from so many of the people she loved. She lost so many people she loved as well, yet she carried all of the best parts of those people with her all the time. She spoke about them often and brought them to life with her vivid descriptions, reliving good times and funny events, moments that changed her, always with love and joy, never sadness or regrets. Her fortitude and the optimism she walked through life with is inspiring. Even as it hurts, remembering her gives me comfort.  It reminds me to see the big picture and to keep trying to be the best parent, friend, spouse, person that I can be, no matter what is happening in the world.  I will keep her close always.

Trying to make Masoor Daal like hers is basically an exercise in futility. Even if I had her recipe, which I don’t, and followed it to a T, which is not my forte, I know it would never be as good as hers. It’s like how sandwiches always taste better when made by someone else? Why is that? It’s definitely the love. There’s no other explanation. Still, it’s tough to ruin lentils. They are pure comfort food to me which is just what the chill in the air calls for.

As much as I didn’t want to, I shared the dal with my family who LOVED it! Even the picky eaters ate it and went back for more. Then, in tribute to this wonderful woman who I miss so much, the leftovers were immediately squirrelled away, deposited in a nondescript container in the back of my fridge where they will become my work-from-home lunch until they’re gone.

Masoor Dal 

Ingredients

1 cup masoor dal (split red lentils)

1 teaspoon kosher salt

1 bay leaf

1 teaspoon ground turmeric

2.5 cups water

½ large or 1 small tomato or ½ can diced tomatoes (if using the juice, reduce water accordingly), diced

Lime juice from one juicy or two not-so-juicy limes

1-2 tablespoons ghee or olive oil

1 teaspoon cumin seeds

1 teaspoon mustard seeds

½ teaspoon red pepper flakes

Pinch of cayenne

Pinch of asafetida (optional) 

Directions

1. Combine lentils, salt, turmeric and bay leaf with tomato and water in the insert of your electric pressure cooker.  

2. Cook on high pressure for 10 minutes and allow the pressure to release naturally. You can do this in a pot on the stove also, just cook lentils until they are soft and mushy. 

3. Stir in lime juice. 

4. Heat ghee or oil in a small frying pan. 

5. Once the ghee is melted or oil is hot, add cumin and mustard seeds until they begin to sputter and sizzle (this will happen right away). 

6. Remove pan from burner and add red pepper flakes, cayenne and asafetida if using. 

7. Swirl the seasonings around in the pan, then pour over the cooked lentils and stir.

Festive Fall: Kale Salad with Roasted Squash, Pistachios, Goat Cheese and Champagne-Maple Vinaigrette

Soooo, my oldest child is suddenly showing a great interest in cooking. I love that he wants to join me in the kitchen and we are both enjoying his forays into cooking for the family. I’m a neatnick, but cleaning up is part of the responsibility that comes with cooking so I’m teaching my son both. And he’s learning how to cook and clean like a pro. We’ve got fundamentals like how to make pancakes, take baking trays out of the oven, make pasta and scramble eggs down. He’s even taught me a thing or two. Things like: read the directions on the back of the pancake mix box and add more liquid (I never add the prescribed amount)!  His pancakes are lighter and fluffier and the only ones the girls will eat these days.  Even when I’m tired at the end of a long day and not in the mood to supervise a 9-year-old meal prep situation, I know I should harness this moment, this interest in learning to be self-sufficient.  Learning the important life skill that is how to feed oneself and others. 

I think someone could use a bigger waffle maker.

We had  friends over this weekend to watch an outdoor movie with us and eat BBQ. All the kids contributed. There was shopping to be done. There were ribs to smoke, salads to make, cornbread and brownies to bake.  It all made for a busy, fun, messy Saturday! It must be in our blood or something because, just like Paul and I, our kids love nothing more than a dinner party. Any one of them would choose a dinner with adults and kids over a playdate or kids’ birthday party. 

May we never take being able to gather for granted again.

Now that my kids are getting older, having them help with the food is a great way to spend the day and to forestall the inevitable complaining about when people will arrive.  Is it time? When will our friends be here? A spatula and a bowl with brownie batter remnants will distract at least one or two of them for a good twenty minutes. A pair of garden shears and instructions on how to clip kale is good for ten. Instructions to “Go outside and check the temperature gauge on the smoker” will buy at least a couple, and could buy an hour, if they get distracted and play outside for a while.

It can be tough to watch them grow up so fast, morphing into new, only somewhat recognizable humans from year-to-year.  But sometimes, like when they spend a day at home with me, cooking, I also see a glimpse of what it might be like in the future. What it might be like to have grown kids who come over for dinner, whose homes I go to for dinner. It’s crazy to think about, but I know it will happen, just like all of the things that happen to us which we thought only happened to other people. Wrinkles. Gray hair. Hearing yourself say all the same things that your mother once said to you. I see how days like this set the scene for those future days. How clipping kale and eating brownie batter leads to future dinner parties in future homes where I am not the main cook. And I want my kids to remember these times with joy.  I want them to associate cooking and feeding people with feeling loved and cared for.  Because they are, by me, their Mama, with unimaginable intensity. I know I’m critical, but do they know how proud I am of them also?  I want so much for them. But most of all happiness.  

Our dinner was wonderful. We made smoked ribs, corn bread, potato salad, kale salad with roasted squash, goat cheese and pistachios, and brownies. We attached a projection screen to our tree house and got cozy with lots of blankets and watched Sonic (?). I don’t even know. I was inside, camped out in front of the fire. Dare I say, it was a perfect evening to ring in the beginning of Fall with Our People.  

The prep was easy, especially with my four little helpers who are getting really good at actually helping. Even my youngest can crack an egg without getting eggshell in the batter bowl (ADVANCED!!! LOL.).  In the morning,  we prepped the ribs by removing their membranes and coating them liberally with dry rub. Then Emmett guilted me into making a basic potato salad with hardboiled eggs. I was going to buy it but he said “You know Mom, homemade always tastes so much better”. Haha. I guess you reap what you sow.  

Ribs prepped!

By noon we had the smoker up and running and started the ribs while we roasted squash for the salad and picked some fresh kale from the garden. We kept the oven on for the cornbread and brownies, both of which we made from our favorite respective mix. Sorry Emmett, it cannot all be homemade. We checked in on our ribs from time to time, spraying them with apple juice and wrapping them in foil when they’d had enough smoke.  When it was almost time for our guests to arrive, we assembled the salad. My favorite part was the pride on my little ones' faces at having contributed. Then the real fun began.

What is even going on here?

Kale Salad with Roasted Squash, Pistachios, Goat Cheese and Champagne-Maple Vinaigrette

1 large butternut or honeynut squash (about 3 pounds), peeled cut into 3/4" cubes

1/2 cup, plus 4 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil, divided

Kosher salt

Freshly ground black pepper

1 whole head garlic

1 pound Tuscan kale, stemmed, leaves sliced thinly 

1/2 cup pepitas or pistachios, toasted and salted

2 tablespoons Champagne vinegar (apple cider vinegar would work too)

2 teaspoons pure maple syrup

2 tablespoons Dijon mustard

1 tablespoon finely chopped shallot

⅔ cup goat cheese, crumbled

Step 1 Heat oven to 425°F. On a rimmed baking sheet, toss squash with about 2 tablespoons of olive oil. Liberally salt and add pepper and or smoked paprika, nutmeg, allspice, cumin, cinnamon or other spices to your taste. 

Place the whole head of garlic on a sheet of aluminum foil, drizzle with 1 tsp. oil, wrap securely in foil and roast with the squash. Cook, turning the squash pieces over once, after about 20 minutes, until squash is golden and tender and garlic is tender, 35–40 minutes total. 

For dressing: cut off the top of the garlic head and squeeze 1/2 to all (use as much or little as you like, I used about 1/2) of the softened garlic into a medium bowl. Whisk in the vinegar, maple syrup, mustard, shallot, and oil. I used my immersion blender to blend the dressing, but it’s not necessary. Add salt and pepper to taste. 

Kale massaged!

Now, sprinkle a couple of pinches of salt onto chopped kale and have your kids massage it until it shines. Once it’s been thoroughly massaged, add dressing, nuts or pepitas, roasted squash and goat cheese and serve. 

This salad, like other kale salads, is great for a casual dinner party because it doesn’t get soggy if you don’t eat it immediately (i.e. you can bring it to work for lunch next week).

Thrilled by the success of our first Fall gathering, we’ve been brainstorming other simple dinners that we can throw together without too much fuss. Chili and toppings bar plus a football game? Grilled cheese and tomato soup with board games? So many possibilities! Cheers to shorter days, colder nights and dinner parties thrown by the kids. 

Milwaukee Irish Festival 2022

Thank you for coming out to the Milwaukee Irish Festival this year. So many friends of the store stopped by our booth and it was great to see everyone. We really appreciate your support. The fest continues today - we would love to see you!